That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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