You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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