this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
