He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
