Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
