My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
two words: eviction party
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
jump out the window naked night went bad
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
