is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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