Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
