Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
