he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
