According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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