PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
