Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
