just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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