I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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