I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
