Kiss
Puke
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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