so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
