We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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