I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
