the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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