He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
