so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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