yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
