Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
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What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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