if you like me you must not know who I am
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
