So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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