The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
