I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You need Xanax blowdarts
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
