That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
