the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
