pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
