yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
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and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
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I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Im part way to drunk.
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