you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
