Kiss
Puke
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
