She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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