He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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