we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize