$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
