Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
