last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
