She said her name was "party"
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
