you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
