I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Randomize
