I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
