I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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