don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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