I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
