Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
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just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
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There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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