is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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