I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
