Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
