I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
