You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
