I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
