I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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