im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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