never play flip cup with pint glasses
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize